CHARYBDIS: Hard to spell. Even harder to listen to.

Genre: Metal. Location: Edmond, Oklahoma, USA.

Great…a fucking video about sharks. It should have been about snails because this shit sucks serious algae.

When you have a lyric video, the vocals should sound like words, even unintelligible words, that might possibly match up to the lyrics on the screen. But this shit is about as much of a match as Duck Dynasty and a high school education. You won’t have one if you have the other!

The drums…those aren’t drums! I know what they are! They are a hyperactive meth addicts knuckles hitting the underside of the table he’s sitting at while he jerks off. He better nut soon because we really need that shit to stop. For fucks sake, do something useful, like maybe start a band that actually doesn’t sound like a diabetic sea cow taking a shit…into a blender.

Or shit, I don’t know…sell your instruments and donate the money to ISIS. You would literally be doing humanity a service compared to what you are doing now. Hell, maybe they’ll give you one of their goats so that your drummer can stop pounding the underside of the table like that. Oh, snap! Record the goat getting plowed and dump it into the vocal track!

Service to humanity, improvement to music. It’s a win-win! Make it so, guys!