TAIL LIGHT REBELLION’s Song “A Message of Hope” Made Me Give Up Any Hope I Had Left For Music

Genre: Folk

Location: Kenosha, WI-USA

Well now, it wouldn’t be a rollout of the new site without Fail Light Rebellion, would it? After all, these guys and myself have a long history, kind of like Ted Nugent and underage girls. So of course I had to “feature” them.

For those of you who don’t know, This band is a bluesy, folk-punk duo with Celtic influences-which is really unfortunate for Irish people. Did you know that the phrase “luck of the Irish” is not about being lucky? It actually refers to how much they have been shit on throughout history. And now, Tail Light Rebellion is here to flush the toilet.

About a year ago they did a studio session at The Ghost Motel in Clearwater, Florida. This place has all kinds of respected and renowned underground artists come in and play live to be streamed on the internet. And When Tail Light rebellion was there, they did a song called ‘Message of Hope’. Does anyone else see the irony of such a hopeless pair of musicians making a song about hope?

The song is minimal in its approach to songwriting. This makes perfect sense, because these two are minimal in their I.Q.’s.

Folk music, and particularly folk punk, have been gaining traction in the American music scene for years now. There’s a reason for this, but fuck if I know what it is. I mean if I wanted to listen to washboards, violins, and acoustic guitars being abused, I’d just go to the thrift shop, find some, and give them to the neighborhood kids with a couple cases of Bang energy drinks. And I wouldn’t stop giving them energy drinks until you could cut the body odor with a knife. And there it is! The entire folk punk experience without any of the grand larceny. Now Tail Light Rebellion isn’t full on punk with their folk music, but there’s enough there for them to possibly be found in a busy intersection with a cardboard sign and a different dog every week.

But, I digress. My point is, The vocalist Johnny Swagger sings like a guy who drinks dark beer in Irish pubs and wears a hat resembling a fedora, but I’m pretty sure he actually drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon on the side of the train tracks because he’s too dumb to hold a job. But alas, unfortunately he’s not dumb enough to sit in the middle of the tracks. And so, bars all across the country will be subjected to his wannabe Irish mobster vocalizing and his wannabe Woody Guthrie guitar playing.

The duo attack this song with the ferocity of a pair of drugged up Chihuahuas attacking the postman’s ankles and achieve results equally as hilarious…or pathetic. Take your pick. Come to think of it, this song sounds like a pair of drugged-up chihuahuas too. Well, at least now I understand why people kick small dogs. It’s because small dogs are annoying!

‘A Message of Hope’ sets out to uplift the listener but instead winds up convincing the listener to become a nihilist, worship Satan, and seek death. It’s a pity that Tail Light Rebellion is so lame, because  they’d actually make a great metal band if they weren’t.