FIRE ON PALAFOX’s Single ‘Chasing Oasis’ Is A Mirage…Or maybe A Bad Dream, Who Knows?

Genre: Rock.

Location: Pensacola, FL-USA

Let’s not beat around the bush here-Florida is stupid and I’m about to prove it.

Say hello to Fire on Palafox. Fire on Palafox hails from the great state of Florida-where residents wrestle alligators and bang their cousins, and the government is being taken over by White peoples’ version of the Taliban. Amidst all this dumb is Florida’s version of rock and roll, which delivered us such gems as Limp Bizkit and a band called-wait for it-Cannibal Corpse. That band is famous for lyrics about cumming blood and a member whose house exploded due to the abundance of guns and incendiary supplies he was keeping in its basement. And now, here to add to the misery is Fire On Palafox, with their single ‘Chasing Oasis’.

Fire on Palafox is radio-friendly hard rock in the vein of (insert mopey, southern sounding radio rock band here). It goes down like a prairie fire on a hot Florida day-which means its completely unnecessary and in fact, will give you an absolutely horrible experience by even Florida standards.. But, here we are! So let me saunter up to the bar and order up a round of Souther-fried, swamp rock  nightmare concoction.

The sound would easily be at home in a suburban sports bar for walking stereotype bikers-you know, the ones who listen to “rock” radio and are “outlaws” but vote for the political party of “back the blue” and totally don’t let anyone tell them what to do because they’re rebels! But then again, I should talk-I sang in failed metal bands, and metal’s gone full boomer itself so I guess I also have enough loser cred to listen to this shit. Although, I was only 30 seconds in when this song made me contemplate the idea that this means enough loser cred to justify taking a bath with a toaster.

The slow groove of the verse riff is reminiscent of something a backwoods stripper would give lap dances to, which is very appropriate-since most backwoods strippers can’t dance. Not that they have to-backwoods rednecks aren’t really known for appreciating an artistic approach to literally anything. They just listen to bands like Fire On Palafox and say things like “HELL YEAH BORTHER CRANK YER HAWG!”-and drink really terrible, watered down beer…and do everything else they can do to conform to a ridiculous stereotype of supposed non-conformity.

The vocals are supposed to sound soulful and manly, but they come off sounding more like a moose that just got done doing whippits. Add drumming that sounds like how quaaludes feel, and riffs so generic they make Walmart’s Great Value brand look designer, and you have a breakout single from an awesomely less than mediocre band.

I would strongly recommend this song to fans of the sound of old people falling down a flight of stairs.

Much like your mom at 8pm on a Saturday night, Fire on Palafox is just getting started, folks! They’ve already released another single called “Where Did We Go Wrong” (***SPOILER ALERT: literally everywhere***) that they’ve released on YouTube. Maybe we’ll review it, who knows?

LinkTree: @fireonpalafox