GORELEM’s Single ‘Hexenhammer’ Is High On Weed-But Low On Talent.

Ah, stoner metal, the genre where the bong rips are plentiful, but the musical talent is as rare as a sober member in a Snoop Dogg fan club meeting. Today, we’re diving headfirst into the hazy world of Gorelem, a stoner metal band from Germany, and their latest track, “Hexenhammer.” If you’re expecting a musical journey worth your time, you might want to roll another joint and recalibrate your expectations.

Gorelem: A Symphony of Half-Baked Guitar Riffs and Stale Weed Smoke

Before we dissect the audio equivalent of a bad trip, let’s take a moment to appreciate the album art. Picture this: a hasty Photoshop job that even your cousin Vinny, who fancies himself a graphic designer after a few online tutorials, would scoff at. It screams ’90s alternative metal, but only in the way a broken smoke detector screams for a battery replacement – annoying and completely unnecessary.

Now, let’s talk about “Hexenhammer.” Clocking in at just over five minutes, this track perfectly encapsulates the stoner metal vibe – if the vibe you’re after is meandering aimlessly in a smoke-filled basement, wondering why you’re listening to this in the first place.

The Long and Tedious Road to Mediocrity

The song opens with a series of muddy guitar riffs that are so low-tuned, they might as well be buried in the basement with your forgotten lava lamp. It’s as if the guitarist thought, “Let’s take the path of least resistance and play the same riff ad nauseam.” Congratulations, mission accomplished. By the time the vocals kick in (somewhere around the two-and-a-half-minute mark), you’ll likely be wondering if you’ve accidentally slipped into a time warp, or perhaps the weed’s finally kicked in.

Speaking of the vocals, let’s address the elephant in the room. Or should I say, the stoned hippie on the couch who won’t shut up about the healing properties of crystals? They’re about as dynamic as a sloth on Quaaludes, offering nothing in the way of melody or variation. It’s like the singer decided that a constant, droning growl was the way to go, and he’s sticking to it.

Hexenhammer: A Journey to Nowhere

As you endure “Hexenhammer,” it’s hard not to feel like you’ve stumbled upon a bunch of amateur musicians who thought they could emulate the stoner metal giants but ended up lost in the haze. The song plods along, dragging its feet like a teenager reluctantly taking out the trash, with the occasional attempt at a riff that barely registers on the Richter scale of musical creativity.

The title, “Hexenhammer,” suggests something mystical and potent. However, the only thing mystical about this track is how it manages to conjure such profound disappointment. It’s a reminder that not everything that sounds good when you’re heavily under the influence will stand up to scrutiny once the buzz wears off.

In Conclusion: Roll Another One and Forget This Song

In the grand tradition of stoner metal, Gorelem’s “Hexenhammer” offers nothing but a muddled haze of uninspired riffs and a vocalist who seems to have lost his way. This track might be enjoyable if you’re in the midst of a particularly intense session of herbal relaxation. But if you’re looking for musical substance, creativity, or something that doesn’t leave you questioning your life choices, you’d be better off taking another hit and looking elsewhere.

It’s clear that Gorelem has taken the stoner metal aesthetic to heart, but they’ve forgotten the most crucial element: making music that’s worth the journey, even if that journey starts at the bottom of your bong. So, pass the pipe, take a deep drag, and let’s forget that “Hexenhammer” ever happened.