FAB3S Drops an e.p. Called ‘Growth’ And I Think It’s About Mold.

Location: Wichita, KS-USA

Genre: rap.

Well I guess it had to happen.

Rap has found its way to YOUR BAND SUCKS, folks! Say hello to our first rapper to grace these hallowed pages, FAB3S! As the name implies, he can’t spell-but that’s okay, because he can’t rap either.

Rappers are known for being fiercely protective of a thing called ‘cred’, which I think is shorthand for ‘credibility’-and the irony of a bunch of grown ass men running around in designer pajamas and an inability to spell cannot be understated here. So to be honest, I did not expect any rappers to submit their material. But I guess there’s no point in protecting your cred if you have none, so here we are.

FAB3S has released an e.p. Called ‘Growth’, which is actually sounds like 5 stagnant pools of pond scum with a space reverb monologue intro. I don’t know man, I just work here-which means I have to listen to it, like it or not.

So about that space reverb intro: It sounds like he’s pontificating about hookups, relationships, and other shit that involves a man losing half his shit or make monthly payments for the reset of his life, or better yet-both!

This thought provoking monologue is followed by a thought provoking track about banging someone’s mom, hooking her up to a hose, and probably doing lines of coke off of some kid named Quentin’s drawing that he made for her or some shit, I don’t know.I’m just speculating here. No, seriously.

After this is a song called “Rake/Leave” with a piano track that conjures images of a drunk mom trying to make her way to the bedroom, where if I heard the lyrics correctly, she’s going to get slapped with…*checks notes* some big smelly old balls.

Yes folks, this is what music has become.

Anyway, next up is “Motif Interlude” and it has a lot of singing that sounds like aforementioned drunk mom crying in the shower. I’m telling you, literally nobody is having a day as bad as this mom, except for the entire genre of rap music-now that this collection of brain-damaged jingles has been added to the soundscape. This is followed by “8th Date” which has a calm, soothing quality to it-and by calm and soothing, I mean how I would feel if I had given into the temptation to overdose on sleeping pills that has fully gripped me for having to listen to this bullshit.

The final track, called “Growth”, is just more of the same but with an attempt at being thoughtful and introspective that winds up being more of a dull thought process reminiscent of a Kansas trailer park. Fuck it dude, give me those sleeping pills.

’Growth’ requires intelligence and sophistication. This is not it. If this e.p. Were mine, I just would have called it ‘Impairment’.

FAB3S is brand new and about to make his live debut! This Friday at the legendary Kirby’s he will appear at the SHAGSTOCK insult comedy and music festival with Hey Radio, Sontia Soul, Tail Light Rebellion, 4 more bands, and a half dozen comedians to give Steve Shagwell some of the payback he deserves. That’s right, we’re roasting Steve Shagwell! Join your hosts Aaron and Austin of The Aaron And Austin Show, and a bunch of musicians and comedians. The event is sponsored by Warbeard Irish Red, so expect Warbeard drink specials and swag.

YouTube: FAB3S

Facebook: @FabesFlowState