HEY RADIO’s Song ‘Tuesdays Are The Worst’ is, Ironically Enough, The Worst.

Location: Wichita, KS-USA.

Genre: punk.

Hello again, boys and girls! It’s Steve Shagwell, with another offering to review. This band is called Hey Radio and their single ‘Tuesdays Are The Worst’ is available on YouTube and Bandcamp…and a thoughtful opinion on it is offered here!

Hey Radio is a punk band from Kansas, and like everything else from Kansas…it’s stupid. But it’s also punk, so that was a foregone conclusion anyway.

You really weren’t expecting talented composition and intelligent lyrics from a genre known for dumpster diving, alcoholism, and body odor now, were you?

But seriously I could smell this song before I even heard it. And honestly, smelling it was enough torture. Hearing it, however-now that is a whole new level of misery. When even your gang vocals are out of tune, nobody’s going to like it. But when you’re punk, I think that may be encouragement.

The song is fast and uptempo, but not in a good way-it’s more like a bad polka track written by a stroke patient, run through an envelope filter. It’s a runaway train wreck that makes your ex look rational by comparison.

Everybody’s talking about sensible gun control, but we need to start talking about how we as a society can start implementing reasonable guitar control laws, because this song is a fucking murder-suicide of poor musicianship.

Look, I realize punk is supposed to be distasteful. But when your music sounds like it was phoned in on a toy phone, it might be time to hang it up. And by ‘hang it up’, I mean the band members themselves. Those toy phones have phone cords right?

Now bringing this back to the matter at hand-the music. These drums sound like they’re being played by the aforementioned stroke patient with one stick while he lobotomizes himself with the other stick. Seriously, this brings mentally handicapped to a whole new level. I’ve heard construction sites that sound better than this drummming.

And as far as the bass guitar, from what I can tell-this bassist probably fell down a flight of stairs before the recording session. They sound like they broke both arms but due to the head injury, barely noticed and played anyway. Somewhere out there is a team of trauma surgeons facing a moral crisis as they decide whether to save this poor grommet’s life or save the rest of us from having to hear more. But this is punk, and God hates punk-so no doubt they will save the bass player.

This is why the aliens stick things in our butts. And this song is why the aliens are currently knocking an asteroid off its path so that it can hit planet earth.

Hey radio have been releasing a steady stream of singles, which you can find on their YouTube channel and Bandcamp page. You can also find them  at The Legendary Kirby’s in Wichita, Kansas this Friday as part of the SHAGSTOCK music festival! Long story short, a certain douchebag we all know is getting roasted by eight bands, seven comedians, and the legendary Aaron and Austin of The Aaron And Austin Show. Insult comedy, music, and more of this lame ass music. What more could you want, besides literally everything?

Bandcamp: @heyradioband

YouTube: @heyradio

Facebook: @HeyRadioBand