AMIENSUS: It’s supposed to be evil music, but it’s from the suburbs and pathetic


Genre: Metal. Location: Rochester, MN. Label: Apathia Records.

Well, fucking Satan. Here we go again. Another heavy metal band sounding all evil and shit. Or trying, anyway.

With riffs whinier than Republicans at a San Francisco 49’ers game during the national anthem and lyrics I can only assume are meant to invoke Satan but instead invokes Elmo biting down on a pillow (because like him, all we can do is mentally go to our happy place and hope it’s over soon), this band is creating a palette of darkness and despair not through its music, but through its mere fucking existence.

There used to be a thing called Black metal, and I suspect these guys fancy themselves as one of those bands. But see, those bands were douche bags with awesome music, whereas this band is just a bunch of douche bags. They can’t even put on that clown makeup they’re supposed to wear correctly. It looks like they aren’t even wearing it! I wish they had gone all the way and made it sound like they hadn’t even picked up their instruments while they were at it.

Musicianship is a dying art, and these guys provide the perfect dying soundtrack.



Twitter: @amiensusmn

Instagram: @amiensus

Metal Archives:

Apathia Records:


Movie Tee Shirts

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *