GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT: If By “Punishment” You Mean “Bukkake”

Genre: Metal. Location: Minneapolis, MN. Label: Twin Town Tyrant Records.

Great logo? Check. Great name? Check. Great music? Um…dafuq?

Look, I’m not saying they didn’t try…I’m just saying they sound like they didn’t try. Maybe they did, but the guitarist drinks too much PBR or something…I don’t know. I wasn’t there. So for all we know, maybe they did try…or maybe they had a intra-band member orgy and recorded it, passing it off as an album…I don’t know. I’m not going to say. I wasn’t there…Satan be thanked!

But if they did have a intra-band member orgy and recorded it (and I’m not saying they did), it sure sounds like at least one of them is hung like a Pringles can. One of those family-sized ones. I don’t know, I wasn’t there. I’m not going to judge.

What I can say, is I’ve heard better guitar playing at a fucking Skrillex concert. And that drumming…pots and pans are not drums. The band needs to invest in some drums. Or, maybe they invested in a donkey instead of drums. That would actually explain the sounds I couldn’t quite pinpoint from what may or may not have been an intra-band member orgy caught on tape and passed off as an album. But hey, I wasn’t there, so who knows? And Satan be thanked for that.

Seriously, this shit is about as tone deaf as a Pepsi commercial about protesters handing cops cans of soda.

And actually, now that I think about it, the singer would make a great Kendall Jenner. Can we get some break dancers up in here?

Website: http://www.gluttonforpunishment.us/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gforpunishment/

Bandcamp: https://gluttonforpunishment.bandcamp.com/

Twin Town Tyrant Records: http://www.twintowntyrant.com/

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