MISERIA: I Think That’s Argentinian For “We Suck Donkey Dick”

Genre: metal. Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina.

So you’re probably all wondering from the headline if this band really sucks donkey did or not. Well if you listened to them, you would know that this is what Metallica sounds like when they’re getting face fucked by a donkey, so yeah-they obviously do.

We have here what appears to be a five-piece lineup that looks like a four-piece lineup and sounds like a three-piece lineup house band from a donkey show that fancies themselves to be a thrash band but turns out to be a sad band. Those riffs are like crayons in the hands of a mental patient that was handed bath salts by a bored orderly who needed amusement and may or may not have been fired for misconduct and went on to someday start the worst music review web site on the planet. I don’t know who that guy might be, but I bet he’s tearfully repenting right now after karma handed him this shit.

Somebody needs to call 911 and tell them there’s no point in showing up, because those riffs aren’t even the least bit sick.

It’s been said that heavy metal sounds scary but actually brings people together for a common experience and a common bond shared in a welcoming atmosphere created by it. After listening to this band I’m watching CNN for reports of a bunch of people in Argentina coming together in a common and shared mass suicide in a welcome mat factory. Wait for it…

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