Myconith: “Hey, your face is also covered in acne! Lets start a band!”

Genre: Death Metal (Space…Core…?).

Location: California.

Do you like Star Trek, but also hate your parents? Well look no further than Myconith, the first band to have their album recorded by a flip video camera, then converted to audio. Its a bold move, but ultimately an artistic one and I have to give them a golf clap for that, and then immediately stop to vomit into my shoe, because its the only thing I have in my immediate vicinity. Also, I have a few questions and comments:

  1. How much was the electric bill after using the garbage disposal instead of a vocalist?
  2. Do you think 100 copies of the album will be enough for all your fans who are clearly in droves and distracted by trying to grab at your jerkins smeared skinny jeans?
  3. The first song called “Sporification” is about the spread of a fungal alien life form to unsuspecting planets; an allegory for being ugly, yet still wanting sex.
  4. Just because no one can read your font doesn’t make it okay to also make music no one wants to listen to.

Myconith is Death Metal’s rectum, and its been shitting palm mutes and double kick blasts since 2015. I could have listened to a bee hive and had a heavier experience.

Keep smoking synthetic weed but maybe try a different genre, like jazz or Inde, somewhere that your idiot space klingon nonsense will draw a crowd larger than 2.





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