Towering Abomination: This “Tower” Falls Short

Genre: metal Location: Milwaukee, WI

Dude, these hicks are playing in a barn amongst farm machinery-but they really don’t need to do that to show you they’re inbred as all fuck. Like seriously, the inbreeding carries right into their music as the bass fucks the drums, the drums fuck the vocals, and the vocals fuck the guitar, and the guitar fucks the bass, and mongloid children called “songs” are produced.

In death metal that’s kind of cool…normally. But see, the problem here is, these mongloid children have more going on than just webbed feet. They also make sounds not unlike Luciano Pavarotti getting gang raped in prison…and ol’ Luce’ never sounded less metal than when he got gang raped in prison. I heard they called him ‘Lucy” afterward…could we have a new subgenre here…Lucy metal? Nah, that doesn’t sound lame enough.

Of course, there is one good takeaway…the fact they are death metal, invokes the idea of death, and the fact that it will find them sooner or later. Unfortunately, it will probably be later. Fortune favors the bold, after all-and you have to be one bold ass motherfucker to put out material this awful.




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